just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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