Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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