for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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