God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
