Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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