At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
