Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
