your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
