We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
