I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize