Having a random hookup so left but love u
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
