I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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