Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
