Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize