Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
