Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
