Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
