Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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