loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
