Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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