WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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