TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
