I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
