garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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