um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
