I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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