As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
