we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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