Hey man sorry I got all grabby
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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