Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
