Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
