my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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