They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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