Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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