it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
