We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
