This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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