So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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