Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
