How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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