THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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