Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
