So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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