i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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