I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
