I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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