Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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