Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
