OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
