remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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