yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
