ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
