I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize