ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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