In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
