Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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