Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
