Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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