That's intense
You know, be my cock's hype man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
