No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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