Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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