it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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