I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
