i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
