i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
