I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
