I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
