i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
