Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
