maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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