I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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