No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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