is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
