I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think pants incapable of making pants work
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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