Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
