yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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