No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
