your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
