I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
