distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
