is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it penis luge time yet?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
