dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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