pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
vagina is talking i cant
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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