we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
