I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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