Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
