I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
