i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
