Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
