You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
