We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
third nipple confirmed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
